Cause the Sky is Blue

As a toddler my little girl would always ask questions.  The questions never ended when the question was answered, but followed with why? Over and over again.  One day she was asking a series of questions about wanting to get something at the store that I really couldn’t afford to get at the moment.  And the “why” series continued.  Frustrated I looked up and answered her why daddy with, “Cause the sky is blue”.  She stopped looked up and it was almost as if she understood.  There is no real reason why, it just is.  So now when I get that whining why not daddy question my response is simply, “cause the sky is blue”. 

I remember as a kid thinking that my father was Superman.  There was nothing that he couldn’t do or nothing that he didn’t already know.  I relied on this in many instances and I still rely on it for parental advice every now and then.  This “value” is good and makes me think about children these days.  

I was told once that I have an opinion about everything (This wasn’t meant to be a compliment).  It got me to thinking.  I do have an opinion about everything because that’s what gets me by with raising my children.  If I didn’t have an opinion where would my kids go to get advice?  TV, the internet or maybe little Joey down the street who tortures the neighborhood animals.  My point is growing up these are the type of learning moments and trust moments I had with my father because in my opinion, He knew it all!!!!  I know that not to be exactly true now, but in every situation he let me believe that he had all the answers to my problems and was there to listen no matter the situation.  What type of role as parents should we take with our kids?  Should we independently let them make their own decisions or should we influence (guide) them in their everyday situations until they are old/responsible enough to make them on their own. 

Your child is your legacy.  Everything you leave behind in this world diminishes except your children.  They carry on your beliefs, values, and sometimes opinions.  At birth you are given the gift of being able to mold that untouched unscarred baby into whatever you want. 

In my opinion it is the responsibility of the parents to make decisions for the kids.  They should rely on your experience and somewhat expertise in certain situations.  Could you imagine the decisions kids would make without our guidance.  Something as little as what to make for dinner or how to spend money would go by the waste-side. 

Happy Fathers Day

So today we celebrate Fatherhood. On this day I celebrate the one man who has been the greatest influence in my life, My Father. Joseph Cooper has it all. He is charismatic, spiritual, strong, goal oriented, and has a mean back swing when I did something wrong.

We grew up in a very Church oriented family. Our family attended Church at the very least 3 times a week. My father, being a Minister was there more frequently. The dynamics of our family centered on church services and meetings. I wouldn’t say it was difficult growing up but it was different. There were a lot of rules, but we as kids really had it all. I knew my father worked hard, but it wasn’t until I became a father myself that I could look back and appreciate the things that he did. As kids we never wanted for anything. Birthdays, Holidays were all special because of the sacrifices my father would make. He would work long hours on his job and then go to service to serve the church we attended. It was hard being close to him because I knew the levels of commitments he had outside the family were tremendous. To me my father was like superman, he could REALLY do anything.

Through the past 10 years, I've grown to know my father in a much different light. He has become more of a friend in regards to how we communicate. Its always been know that I could talk to him about anything, but recently it has become much easier to do so. We talk about everything, from relationships, kids, and even recreational stuff like my vehicles and fishing. He has taught me that fatherhood is not this stern serious person who is a dictator over his kids, but rather someone who their sons can look up to and say, "When I grow up, I want to be just like my Father" Something I can truly say.

Dad, I love you, and thank you for all the lessons, hard work, love and attentiveness you've shown me over the past 35 years. In more ways than one I wouldn’t be here today without you!

Male Chauvinistic Daddy!!!!

So, growing up, I come from a family where my father was the main “bread winner”.  Dad worked and for the most part mom stayed home and took care of me and my 3 siblings.  If mom did work, it wasn’t necessarily for the family but for other indulgences as she saw fit.  Mom took care of the house, dinner, and all of the needs of the house.  Not that my dad didn’t share in these chores.  He was a regular in every one of those departments.  The discipline was mostly handled through my father and there was a certain reverence given to him because of that.   We knew who was in charge of our family.  We knew who made the decisions and who the head of the household was. If ever there was a question as to what mom said do, the response was usually, “cause daddy said so” and that was the end of the conversation. 

My father opened the door for my mother.  He sent her flowers and held her umbrella while he got wet.  He was the type to order for her at a restaurant and push in her chair. There was a certain respect the two had for each other and a willingness for my mom (on occasions) to surrender the last say so to my dad.  

Now don’t get me wrong, by no means am I an advocate to go back to the middle ages with the rights and treatment of women.  However when it comes to chivalry, I would say I support the notion.  My mom is one of the strongest willed women I know.  She is extremely independent and
did whatever she wanted.  But, there was something in the relationship where you could see my mother display a willingness to show that dad was in charge and she loved the role he took. 

I’m a self declared hopeless romantic.  Not chauvinistic or caveman like, but one who still holds values like my father with a willingness and strength to want to provide care for and protect my family.  I come from a line of men who still treat a woman the way it’s supposed to be done.  Yes guys, I’m the jerk who buys flowers, and remembers and celebrates every birthday and anniversary like it’s the last.  To me, it’s become a lost art amongst men.  For the past couple years it’s more common for the man to take the backseat to everything instead of “being a man” and stepping up to the plate.  A lot of it is the evolution of our relationships and more strong minded women.  Many women these days are career driven and view relying on a man in any situation as a weakness.  So I ask, is it wrong for a man to enter a relationship with this mindset?  Is it considered too old fashion or chauvinistic for a man to consider himself the provider, the protector, and the head of his household?  Do women feel threatened by this thought or do they welcome the strength that this type of man possesses?  Is it a lost art or a casualty of the evolution of women’s rights and political correctness?