Male Chauvinistic Daddy!!!!

So, growing up, I come from a family where my father was the main “bread winner”.  Dad worked and for the most part mom stayed home and took care of me and my 3 siblings.  If mom did work, it wasn’t necessarily for the family but for other indulgences as she saw fit.  Mom took care of the house, dinner, and all of the needs of the house.  Not that my dad didn’t share in these chores.  He was a regular in every one of those departments.  The discipline was mostly handled through my father and there was a certain reverence given to him because of that.   We knew who was in charge of our family.  We knew who made the decisions and who the head of the household was. If ever there was a question as to what mom said do, the response was usually, “cause daddy said so” and that was the end of the conversation. 

My father opened the door for my mother.  He sent her flowers and held her umbrella while he got wet.  He was the type to order for her at a restaurant and push in her chair. There was a certain respect the two had for each other and a willingness for my mom (on occasions) to surrender the last say so to my dad.  

Now don’t get me wrong, by no means am I an advocate to go back to the middle ages with the rights and treatment of women.  However when it comes to chivalry, I would say I support the notion.  My mom is one of the strongest willed women I know.  She is extremely independent and
did whatever she wanted.  But, there was something in the relationship where you could see my mother display a willingness to show that dad was in charge and she loved the role he took. 

I’m a self declared hopeless romantic.  Not chauvinistic or caveman like, but one who still holds values like my father with a willingness and strength to want to provide care for and protect my family.  I come from a line of men who still treat a woman the way it’s supposed to be done.  Yes guys, I’m the jerk who buys flowers, and remembers and celebrates every birthday and anniversary like it’s the last.  To me, it’s become a lost art amongst men.  For the past couple years it’s more common for the man to take the backseat to everything instead of “being a man” and stepping up to the plate.  A lot of it is the evolution of our relationships and more strong minded women.  Many women these days are career driven and view relying on a man in any situation as a weakness.  So I ask, is it wrong for a man to enter a relationship with this mindset?  Is it considered too old fashion or chauvinistic for a man to consider himself the provider, the protector, and the head of his household?  Do women feel threatened by this thought or do they welcome the strength that this type of man possesses?  Is it a lost art or a casualty of the evolution of women’s rights and political correctness? 

Who's THE Daddy!?!?!?

Ever look at your kids, or at kids interacting with their parents out in public and wonder, “Which one of them is in charge”. I’m not sure if it’s the generation that we live in or if it’s just a product of a lazier society that has perpetuated this lack of respect, be it one or both ways.

Its not just with their parents, but for some, it's a considerable lack of respect for adults period.

One day I was taking my boys fishing. Anyone who has fished knows it’s a quiet and fun time you can really enjoy with your kids. There are also certain unwritten rules on the shore when fishing. One of these is that you don’t cast your line into another person’s spot! Well, while we were fishing in a small section of the lake, this kid about the same age as my boys (10-12) walked in the middle of us and threw his line in between where we were fishing. So, of course I asked him politely, “son, do you know you just crossed my line where I’m fishing?” His replied indignantly with, “So, it’s a public pond and I can fish where I want! Why don’t you move your line?” Well, in my head the Angels started singing and we were about to have church with a “Coming to Jesus moment” (He was about to meet his maker). It got me to thinking, if this kid talks to a complete stranger with no respect, how does he talk with his own parents?

What would have happened in your house if you had stomped or raised your voice at your parents? What would have happened if you were asked to do something by your father and your response was to either ignore them or blatantly say NO!!?

Some people may think this next statement is brutal or some may actually relate (the fact that I have to quantify that statement tells me we live in a different world). I remember growing up being scared to death to speak in a disrespectful way to my parents. I knew if I did, a visit to the dentist was inevitable! This wasn’t a fear like you fear the junk yard dog, but it was a more reverent fear. I had a different respect for my parents than what is displayed these days.

I’m not a big TV person, but when I’ve watched TV, I’ve noticed most of the television shows are like what I see in public. Most of the shows have the kids yelling at their parents, stomping and throwing fits. In some cases, they were being completely defiant with the excuse of “just being a kid”. Is this actually the way that we want to raise our kids? Is this the example we want to give? Now don’t get me wrong, while I don’t advocate this, I’m also of the mindset that parents raise their kids and not the TV. Allowing kids to watch what they want is not a direct permission to act out what they see. It takes a strong dedicated parent to use what children see as a learning tool.

Maybe it’s the methods of discipline. My parents, as were most when I was a child, were of the definite mindset, “Spare the Rod Spoil the Child”. Most parents now are into having conversations or timeout. Is one better than the other? Are they related to the level of respect we have for our parents as oppose to the respect children now days have with theirs?

So why is it like that these days? What has changed in the rules of parenting that has diminished Who the Daddy is?

Who's Your Daddy????

Let me start this first blog by stating, never do I claim anything I say to be “The Gospel According To John”. This is strictly my opinion and meant to be taken as that in order to provoke an adult discussion. If your conversational skills aren’t of the maturity of an adult, then refrain from commenting or just comment to my personal email. Those using profanity or derogatory adjectives will be removed. 

So every person walking this Earth has one - some call him Daddy, Dad, Pops or Father. But how many of you actually call him your father? Most men are given the ability to procreate. It’s a gift that is used for both pleasure and the benefit of giving life. In the event the two cross, (pleasure and life) life is the one that is sometimes taken for granted as a gift. Herein lies the distinction between being called a father or a daddy. It’s the actions after these two cross that makes the distinction.

My definitions are as follows: daddies are the ones who have the ability to create but not the intestinal fortitude to care for a child. A father has the same ability but seems to be able to use his natural sense of responsibility to take care of the child both financially and emotionally. Statistically, daddies are on the rise, while fathers seem to decline. Now I don’t like to be on a soapbox (actually I do like the attention), but over the past few years there are many mothers who are single - not by choice but by circumstance - while the “daddy” lives his own life in the absence of being a father.

One of the most irritating terms to me is, “my baby's daddy”. To me, it indicates that the “man” (that word is debatable for a later discussion) is a donor. Someone who participated in the pregnancy, but not in the fatherhood of the child. It takes a considerable amount more to be a father then a daddy. While most of you think I’m splitting hairs, think about it! Which term do you take more seriously? Which would you like to be called?

Greetings

So thanks for stopping by and checking out my weekly rants and questions to ponder throughout your day.  First things first, for those who don’t know me, my name is John Cooper and that pretty face in front of me (in my profile picture) belongs to my fiancé Renee.

The purpose of this blog is to get you (the reader) to start thinking about the different aspects of life that some of us tend to take for granted.  There will be broad areas of discussion, to include, relationships, parenthood, education, and socio-economic standing.  We’ll try to refrain from religion as to not offend anyone!  I’ve had many life experiences that have brought me to a point in life where I’d like to share those thoughts with others and see how the opinions vary.

I strongly encourage everyone to reply either by post or by email, and for those of you cursed to know me personally, by phone.